"Don't toss those!" I snagged the extra chopsticks from the table as Vadim cleaned up our Thai take-out. "No seriously, GO-Sushi always forgets to bring me chopsticks when I order from seamless."He raised his brow slightly.
"Yesterday, they actually remembered right? But when I pulled them apart, one broke. So I'm trying to eat with one short, jagged stick, one long. I eventually gave up and tried straws-"
"STRAWS?"
"Well, yea-"
He continued to ejaculate, "Wait, WAIT, I'm picturing you with straws."
"Hey! So that didn't work...so I grabbed a fork. Which of course was more like doing surgery. I finally gave up. I used my fingers. A coworker turned to me and said, 'Oh don't worry, the other day they forgot my chopsticks and I was painting the wasabi on with my finger, putting the ginger on. Dipping, licking.' "
"That's pretty good."
"Well, yea- but seriously...I have to take a break from sushi, I keep getting lectures about mercury poisoning and how I should have some lasagna or something, from a man with a vowel at the end of his last name."
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