overheard in new york.

I stumbled across Overheard in New York this afternoon. I may need to get involved...I can't even begin to explain the number of tremendously amusing things I hear throughout the day.

A few favorites:

You'll Never Go Hungry in New York, Sweetie

Mother, after listening to child talking nonstop: You are so bizarre.
Six-year-old boy,(seriously): I eat bugs.

--Central Park

Overheard by: Good to Know

On the Plus Side, I Get Tons Of Days Off for All Sorts Of Random Holidays

Overly enthusiastic customer: So I heard that they are coming out with a 32 gb iPhone for Christmas. Like a red product thing for Christmas. Is that true?
Overly perky Apple employee: Well, sir, I wouldn't know because I'm Jewish and whenever they have Christmas meetings, they kick me out of the room.

--Apple Store SoHo, Prince & Greene St

Overheard by: are they allowed to say that?

New York Invented Social Darwinism

Girl #1: We can't cross now! There are cars coming!
Girl #2, beginning to walk into street: Well, they can't hit all of us.

--Lexington & 3rd

Overheard by: Following the leader

Lipstick Rings Around the Toilet Bowl Are Never a Good Sign

Young daughter to mother flushing toilet: Mommy! It says "do not flush."
Mother: No, honey, it says "do not flush feminine products."
Young daughter: What are "feminine products"?
Mother (after pause): Lipstick.

--Macy's Bathroom, W 34th St

Overheard by: Brin

Mice Have Always Been Fashion-Forward

Gay guy #1: Do you know that mice can survive longer without water than a camel?
Gay guy #2: That's gorgeous. I love it.

--East Village

I Promise to Answer on the First Ring

Guido, shouting: Yo, who leaves a fuckin' business card in the shitter? Seriously!?
Man from across bathroom: You should call the number on the card, maybe they'll give you a blowjob.

--Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: Michael

On the Plus Side, You Don't Have to Fight Any Wars in His Name

Beggar to two girls: Jesus loves you.
Girl #1: No, he doesn't.
Beggar: Yes, he does! Jesus loves everyone!
Girl #2: Yeah, okay.
Beggar: But he does, he loves you!
Girl #1: No, really, he doesn't. She's Jewish.
Beggar: Shit, I'm sorrrry.

--8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Madelyn

There Go the Horseback Riding Lessons, I Guess.

Mom #1: She refuses to wear slacks! She'll only wear dresses and skirts. She told me, "mommy, girls don't like to have anything between their legs except their underpants."
Mom #2: Let's hope she feels that way til she's twenty.

--1 Train

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Close!

Street corner punk #1: Where did she say she lives?
Street corner punk #2: Yonkers.
Street corner punk #1: Yonkers? There's no place called "Yonkers"! She was playin' you, man.
Street corner punk #2: Whatchoo talkin' about, man? Yonkers is a city!
Street corner punk #2: Yeah right. There's also a city called "my balls."

--Sutphin Blvd & 89th Ave, Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry

And I really need to stop here. It's a black hole.

Image: mobane(dot) com.